Jalapeno & Cheese Tuna Cakes with Dill Yogurt Sauce


You don’t like Tuna?

Please leave.

I never had a “Tuna Melt” until my best friend Jared made me eat one night while I was high out of my mind. Tuna melts, unlike most, “stoned” food is quite delicious even after you are no longer stoned BUT this is 2018 and we are on a mission to not speak to bread……as much. In an effort to give up the carbs but not the flavor I have made tuna cakes. These are amazing, crispy, spicy, and filled with cheese!


*Makes 3 Tuna Cakes

1 Can of White Albacore Humanely Raised Tuna
1/4 Jalapeno – Diced
2 Green Onions – Diced
1/4 Yellow Onion – Diced
1/2 Cup Sharp Cheddar Cheese
1 Egg
Salt, Pepper, Garlic Powder, Red Pepper Chili Flakes
1/2 Greek Yogurt
1/2 Lemon – Juiced
2 Tablespoons Dill Weed(Fresh or dried)
Jalapeno/Tomato Garnish

How To

Drain your tuna VERY well. In a bowl with the diced jalapeno, onion, green onion, dry spices, egg, cheese, add your tuna and mix well. Once all combined form into 3 patties.

I used a non-stick pan as the cheese will melt and forms that nice crust we want. Cook these on medium heat for about 4-5 minutes per side.

Sauce: Add the yogurt, lemon juice, dill, salt and pepper to a bowl and mix well. I put the sauce on the bottom of the plate so that every bite of tuna cake had some cooling sauce. These cakes are hot, cheesy, and the fresh veggies we added provide a much needed crunch. I have had these for lunch almost all week!

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Siracha Maple BLT Lettuce Wraps

Are you not allowed to eat bread? Did someone terrify you as a child of bread? Are you on a keto diet? Did you have a funeral for bread and all its’ offspring in your backyard like me? Then this BLT is for you!

The key here is ….. the bacon….. hello. Can bacon possibly get any better? Let me show you how. My husband eats this delicious snack/meal/appetizer lady and gentlemen…..my husband. You don’t even miss bread, and my idea of heaven is just me laying on crusty hot sourdough slathered in far too much butter!

Let’s get busy!

*Makes 4 BLTs

4 Strips of Thick Cut Bacon
4 Hearts of Romaine Leaves
2 Tablespoons Maple Syrup
2 Tablespoons Siracha
2 Tablespoons Mayo
1 Tomato (sliced)
Avocado (optional)

How To

Fry up that bacon! Pan fry your bacon until it is 90% cooked, and then brush your strips of bacon with the siracha and maple syrup. Broil your bacon on high for 2 minutes max. Now, ladies and gentlemen you have candied bacon.

I smeared some mayo on the lettuce itself, sprinkled with red chili flakes, layed out on piece of bacon, seasoned tomato (S&P), and some avocado was on the bottom. Kyle added some jalapeno to his “sandwich”.

Do these substitute for a real good old sandwich? No. I am not going to lie. But, they are lite, refreshing, and you can continue your day afterwards rather than sleeping on the couch. Give these bad boys a try!



I like my chocolate how I like my men (Banana Peanut Butter Bites)


Seriously. How have I just discovered real dark chocolate? More specifically, chocolate from Madagascar.  Lord knows that if there ever was a day for me to like chocolate it would have to be a bar boujie as all Hell. Girl, World Market makes me weak.

To continue our 2018 healthy eating venture we needed dessert! Well, not really because neither myself or my husband are big sweet eaters, but I have found the healthier I eat during the day the easier it gets to be a very bad girl at night. Cinnamon rolls, cheese pastries, and bags and bags of popcorn. I am not claiming these are healthy either, shit I didn’t even do a calorie check on them., and neither should you. They are banana, some peanut butter, and dark sexy chocolate. Live a little.

Oh, and some butter.

Just a little!

1 Bar of Reeeeaally good chocolate (I used Madecasse brand)
5 Bananas sliced however you prefer
Peanut Butter
1 TBSP Kerrygold Butter (this helps so that expensive ass chocolate doesn’t seize up on you)

How To

Slice your bananas, lay on some parchment paper. Dollop with peanut butter on top. See below photo. Then freeze for 3-4 hours.


Cut that chocolate up. The more even you slice, cute, cube, or grate the more evenly the chocolate will met. Simmer some water on the stove and create a double boiler. DO NOT GET WATER ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR CHOCOLATE. Water causes seizing and we do not want that. Once your chocolate is melted dip the bananas in however you see fit. I just dipped the tops as we didn’t want ours completely drowned in chocolate. I know some of you will feel differently.




You see that shine? Thank you melting chocolate correctly and grass-fed butter. Guuuuuurl. I guarantee these will help keep the late night cinnamon rolls away.


Roasted Red Pepper Hummus

Lord have mercy do not bring hummus as a Christmas appetizer unless your entire family is vegan. I about got voted off the island for bringing hummus a few Christmas’ back. You know what, though? I am a grown up(kind of) and have my own blog now so I am just going to publish the recipe because I am a loud and proud hummus lover!

Embarrassing Fact: A few colleagues of mine had a hummus war competition and it just so happened to be on the day I was interviewing for a management position at my work. Well, ALL afternoon my stomach would not stop sounding like a blue whale searching for its family and couldn’t tell if I was just nervous OR overdosing on too much hummus.

P.S plain hummus is boring – make some exciting flavors and share them with me! I know roasted red pepper is pretty boring, too but I love it!!


2 Cups chickpeas drained and washed
1/2 Cup Tahini (just buy it – I know it’s expensive but it’s what makes hummus HUMMUS)
1 whole lemon squeezed
1/4 Cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil
3 Cloves Garlic
1 Cup Roasted Red Bell Peppers (I roast mine on the oven – stick them in a ziplock once black- let them steam – take off the char and done)

How To

How easy is this? Throw it in the food processor and hit the Go button. Blend until smooth and the consistency you’d like – you may need to add additional olive oil. I crack fresh pepper on top one plated, a squirt of lemon, and a final drizzle of olive oil. Eaasy breezy beautiful snack. Pita chips, veggie sticks, naan bread. Gurl.



Cauliflower “Potato” Salad with Pickled Celery

You probably don’t want to bring this to a picnic or bring it instead of potato salad if someone specifically asked for potato because you know….people are haters. Try to convert people at your own risk. I learned my lesson a few Thanksgivings ago when I tried to bring cauliflower mash instead of mashed potatoes I thought I was going to be banished from my own family! I will post my cauliflower mash recipe soon though, I promise! I prefer cauliflower salad to regular potato salad and not because it’s healthier or because I can’t eat potatoes but I just generally like and prefer the taste of it. I like it warm the best….right when the cauliflower pieces come out of the oven and you coat them in the delicious dressing…..yes…..that is life.

I have a lot of friends and family that cannot or will not eat potatoes and so I decided to get creative and make a cauliflower version but spice it up some with some pickled celery pieces. Low carb potato salad….can you believe it?! Now, I roast my cauliflower because I believe it is the only way to get the real true delicious flavor out of cauliflower and we aren’t making raw cauliflower salad because I hate raw cauliflower but Kyle loves it  and almost ate half my head of cauliflower!

Roasted Cauliflower

Ingredients – 2 servings

1 head of cauliflower – chopped into 1 inch pieces – toss with olive oil and roast at 400 degrees for 25 minutes
1/4 Cup GOOD mayonnaise or yogurt/sour cream
2 TBSP fresh or dried dill
1 Celery Stalk
1/4 Cup White Vinegar
Red Chili Flakes
1/4 Lemon Zest
2 Hard Boiled Eggs
1/4 Red Onion Diced
Pickle or Relish
Garlic Powder
1 Jalapeno
*Traditional potato salad uses mustard but I wasn’t feeling it for the cauliflower – go ahead and use if you’d like*

How To

First – get your cauliflower roasting because it takes what feels like forever and a day.
Second- Celery Pickle – Personally, I would let these sit overnight but if you’re in a rush a half hour will do the trick. I diced my celery heart and a small piece of jalapeno and mixed them with the 1/4 cup of white wine vinegar and some salt. Set aside. I didn’t use the jalapeno IN the salad(would be tasty though) but it infused the vinegar/celery with some nice spice.

Third – mix the rest of your ingredients together with the mayonnaise and let it chill in the fridge until the cauliflower is ready. I thin out my dressing with a bit of the infused wine vinegar.

Finally – when the cauliflower is cooked and still WARM toss everything together! I like my cauliflower to still have a bite to it but the way you like it is how you should make it. You could also try this recipe with raw cauliflower and I’d only suggest letting the dressing and cauliflower sit overnight with one another to create a really good marinade. Your dressing, cauliflower, and the pickled celery pieces (not WITH the vinegar – add that a little at a time). Now, I like eating this warm but it is also delicious cold! I served this with some chicken wings that I baked rather than fried. HealthiER than potato salad….I wouldn’t call this meal the epitome of health haha. I hope you try this!


Bruschetta Style Chicken

Do me a favor and sing the Indiana Jones theme song while you read this. Why? I don’t really know but it’s what I’m doing currently. Bruschetta, bruschetta, bruschetta is most likely one of my favorite foods. Ironic, because I do not typically like tomatoes raw. I love tomatoes that have been cooked for about 60 seconds…it’s weird I know. You’re the one following this crazy blog not me! Bruschetta….the way I make it is perfect as the toasted bread makes the tomatoes the exact texture I like, and lets out all the juices and flavor, but we aren’t making just regular bruschetta today because we are replacing the bread with chicken!

I make this dinner at least once a week because it is fast, healthy, and I always have the key ingredients in my fridge. I may write a fun exciting blog but all my fun stuff is generally saved for the weekend, and during the week I eat healthy, fast, and convenient foods. Please try this!

Ingredients – 2 Servings

2 Chicken Breasts or Thighs…. you know I’m a the dark side of the chicken girl
4 Roma Tomatoes  – Diced
1/4 Red Onion – Diced
1/4 Cup Good Quality Balsamic Vinegar – I used We Olive Aged Balsamic
Basil – Now, I’m going to throw you a curve ball here because I am not a huge fan of fresh basil….yea yea whatever, I like the flavor I just don’t like the wilted leaves etc….I used basil infused olive oil in this recipe, but you are more than welcome to use what you please
Fresh in water Mozzarella – 2 Slices
Garlic Powder
I made a side of sauteed mushrooms and pesto potatoes 🙂

How To

So, I wanted to grill my chicken and most of the time for this recipe I do BUT it was too stinkin hot outside so I got some color on the chicken in a pan and then baked the rest of the way through. However you choose to cook your chicken isn’t really important for this dish.
While your chicken bakes dice your tomatoes and onions. Helpful hint: when making salsas, bruschettas, or even just salt and peppering tomatoes themselves the ingredients in which you are flavoring the tomatoes with sticks to them much better if you have an oil involved. I tossed my tomatoes & onions with the basil olive oil from We Olive…. salt,pepper, and garlic powder. I let this sit in the fridge to marinate.
Balsamic reduction. Easy peasy. Take 1/4 cup of good quality olive oil and place in a pan over medium heat. Stir as the vinegar slowly reduces down to a syrup-like texture. Once your balsamic coats the back of a spoon it is reduced enough.
During the last 5 minutes of your chicken baking/grilling place your lovely fresh mozzarella to melt over the chicken.
I plate this by spooning the tomato mixture over the hot chicken(that’s my jam) and then drizzling the balsamic reduction.
Finished!!! Easy, fast, and healthy!




Bacon & Jalapeno Deviled Eggs

How did eggs get the name “deviled”? Hold on. I need to Google. “The term “deviled“, in reference to food, was in use in the 18th century, with the first known print reference appearing in 1786. In the 19th century, it came to be used most often with spicy or zesty food, includingeggs prepared with mustard, pepper or other ingredients stuffed in the yolk cavity.” Today we learned! You are welcome!

Okay, so, let me get real with you. I am famous for my deviled eggs…..seriously. My grandmother calls me before EVERY event and that is all she ever wants me to bring. I can make panna cotta, bruschetta, stuffed mushrooms, garlic bread, and a wide range of appetizers, and yet I am always called on for deviled eggs. Krystal, does it make you famous for something if only your grandma is asking for it? Um, yes, Internet, thank you. I will tell you why. My grandma is SASSY. Well, all my grandmas are sassy they are the ladies I get a lot of my own sas from but the grandma that loves my deviled eggs has the other two beat when it comes to honest opinions. We would often go to little diners for lunches or dinners growing up with my grandma, and if she didn’t like something she didn’t eat it anyways and remind herself not order it again, but send it back, and I always remember my parents being so embarrassed that she was sending food back or critiquing service. I didn’t really know what to think of it as a child, but as an adult I love her for it. You shouldn’t have to eat something you do not enjoy and you shouldn’t have to lie about something just to not hurt someone’s feelings. My grandma tells ME when she doesn’t like something I’ve made, in fact she is probably my best critic for my food because she doesn’t sugar coat. My deviled egg loving grandma is honest, blunt, and one of my biggest supporters in life. You bet your butt I make deviled eggs when she asks, and they ARE the best.

Now, let us discuss a can I cannot close once I open it. Mayonnaise. Deviled eggs, potato salad, pasta salad, and all other recipes requiring mayo are to be made with MAYONNAISE and NOT Miracle Whip…… I can’t believe I even typed its name it’s like saying he who shall not be named from Harry Potter. No, no, noooooo. First of all IF we are going to call MW food it is technically labeled as a salad dressing(vomit) so it has no business in these recipes. MW is sugar. Soooooo much sugar. MW is NOT mayonnaise so please do not disgrace yourself by using it! #endrant Please remember I am German…..I take my mayo very seriously.

I have yet to decide if I am going to share my OG recipe with y’all, but I do have many variations that I make. Hint: Grandma does not like the variations. My latest variation was Bacon & Jalapeno Deviled Eggs….make them. Yesterday.



However many eggs you want to make – I made a snack so I used 6 eggs BUT I am giving your the recipe for if you were making 12
1/2 Cup GOOD mayo
1/4 Cup Dijon Mustard
4 Strips of Bacon (add a little bacon fat to your filling)
1 Jalapeno sliced in rounds then cut in half again (moons) – pickle these quickly in some red wine vinegar OR go to We Olive and get some pineapple balsamic because I pickled them in that real quick
Dash of your favorite hot sauce
Dash of a good quality olive oil (I used garlic)

How To

I wish I could tell you I am an expert hard egg boiler but I am not. I follow instructions via the internet – Place eggs in pot and cover one inch with cold water, bring water to a boil, cover and remove from heat for 8 minutes. They turn out nice and soft for me I just cannot ever get them to peel beautifully but other than that the egg itself turns out yummy! I do let the eggs chill for about an hour before peeling/preparing.

Okay, take the eggs yolks, mayo, mustard, oil, hot sauce, and S&P and throw them in a food processor. I prefer my filling to be smooth because I like to pretend I am fancy but you can ALWAYS mash the yolks with a fork and incorporate the filling that way. I throw the filling into a ziploc bag to pipe back into the empty shells, because fancy? Garnish with your crumbled bacon, slivers of jalapeno, and I added tomato and ALWAYS fresh cracked pepper or paprika or red chili flakes OR ALL! I hope you enjoy these!