Well, California is currently becoming one with the sea. For years I have been mocked as the unnecessary worrier constantly riddled with anxiety when storms come knocking.
-“We live in California, Krystal we don’t have storms”.
Well, California just pulled some Noah’s Ark bullshit up in here this week. Six days of rain and looking like we may end on the eighth. As always when the end is approaching and my home is about to break into a free floating island I prepare. I went to Barnes & Noble, spent entirely too much money on books to read during the apocalypse, bought yarn so I could crochet myself clothes upon the end of civilization, and made cauliflower chowder. Ready.
My cauliflower chowder is not labeled as healthy, gluten free or any of that crap. The end is near I am damn well eating butter.
-3 Heads of Cauliflower – roasted (This step is VERY important, in fact the most important part of the recipe, if you find yourself too lazy to roast the cauliflower save it for another day because you’ve already ruined it.)
-4 Medium Yukon Gold Potatoes
-3 Cloves of Garlic
-1 Yellow Onion
-3 Carrots (peeled)
-3 Stalks of Celery
-3 Cups of Chicken Stock
-1 Cup Half & Half
-3 Tablespoons Butter
-1 Can of Chickpeas
-3 Tablespoons Avocado/Olive Oil
Roast all 3 heads of cauliflower roughly chopped with some love (oil, salt, & pepper) at 400 degrees. I like mine very tan so I keep them in there about 25 minutes.
In a stock pot put diced carrot, celery, potatoes, butter, and oil. You will want these all to be diced roughly the same size for even cooking. Once the potatoes are cooked and onions translucent add the garlic.
Chickpeas! Do not knock it til you try it.
Strain your chickpeas, rinse, and completely dry! Put on a baking sheet with some avocado oil, garlic and chipotle powder, salt and pepper. 450 degree oven 15 minutes later garnish and healthy snack. I eat these all day long.
Now, I have an immersion blender. Yet, I was too lazy to get it down. So, once your veggies in the stock pot are cooked throw them in a blender, add some chicken stock, and blend til the mixture is creamy. Repeat the routine with your cauliflower. Then, throw everything (cauliflower included) into your stock pot, and season, and TASTE. I added salt, pepper, red chili flakes, some Italian seasoning, chipotle powder, garlic powder, and a bay leaf. Feel free to get creative and add whatever may suit your fancy. The chowder is technically done other than adding half & half, but all things are better with time. I let mine simmer for about 2 hours before adding the half & half.
I like cauliflower chowder better than potato soup because there is some texture. This is not a cauliflower soup you can sit on the blender for 10 hours with because of the potatoes, they will release too much starch upon over working them and you will have glue. Trust me I have done it before when Kyle had teeth pulled. Thank you jesus for Vicodin sucker didn’t even notice.
Trust and believe – make this!